Emotional cruelty to a child will become a crime???

chile emotionally abused

So, one of the headlines in the Times this morning was: “Emotional cruelty to a child will become a crime”…  What???  When??? And how is that going to work???  In the long string of parental alienation blogs here you can read the horrific story of the emotional abuse of my daughter Sydney by her mother and promoted by Surrey Social Services.  All I was ever guilty of was being a model father and giving everything I had to my daughter…  Surrey Social Services was so dire that in 2008, the then Secretary of State Ed Balls had to step in and fire everyone and take over its running. It’s simple, children need both parents, especially if they have the opportunity to to have them. My ex-wife just decided that she should be free to alienate my daughter from me , and severely emotionally abuse her, and Surrey Social Services not only endorsed it, they even paid for the Barrister to go into the High Court and demand it.

Outlaw emotional abuse of children? Surrey Social Services would have to be the first people to be put in jail over this new plan…  Here’s the article if you don’t want to look it up…

Tom Knowles
Last updated at 11:02AM, March 31 2014

Parents who starve their children of love and affection face being prosecuted in the criminal courts under a new law, it emerged last night. The imminent changes to child neglect laws, announced by Robert Buckland, Conservative MP for South Swindon, will make extreme emotional cruelty a crime for the first time, alongside physical and sexual abuse as crimes against children.
The Government is set to introduce the change in the Queen’s Speech in early June, making it a crime to do anything that deliberately harms a child’s “physical, intellectual, emotional, social or behavioural development”.
Mr Buckland, a part-time judge who has been campaigning on the issue, said: “We’re talking here about children who very often end up as the subject of case reviews or in child protection situations where they’re taken into care, and we’re dealing very much with the upper end of the scale.
“But it seems to me, unless we modernise the law and take into account what we now know about the severe effects on children of psychological and emotional abuse, then we’re failing a whole range of children in our society.
“One and a half million children in the UK suffer from neglect. I think it’s time that the law was updated to offer even better protection for them.”
Government sources have confirmed to the BBC that the new law is likely to be in place before the next election, and could potentially be added as an extra clause to the Criminal Justice Bill going through Parliament.
Parents found guilty of emotional cruelty could face up to ten years in prison. The new offences could also include forcing a child to witness domestic violence, forcing degrading punishments on them or making them a scapegoat.
Currently, an adult responsible for a child can be prosecuted only if he or she has deliberately assaulted, abandoned or exposed a child to suffering or injury to their health.
The Children and Young Persons Act 1933 is more than 80 years old, with certain sections dating back to 1868.
“If we ignore the growing body of scientific evidence that shows that this type of emotional, psychological course of conduct doesn’t affect children’s development then I think we’re failing to protect children adequately,” Mr Buckland said.
He added that prosecutors would still need to demonstrate that the abuse had passed the threshold of “significant harm” to the child.
The charity Action for Children has campaigned for three years for a “Cinderella Law” to make emotional neglect of children illegal.
Sir Tony Hawkhead, the charity’s chief executive, welcomed the promised change to the law as “a monumental step forward” for thousands of children suffering emotional abuse.
“I’ve met children who have been scapegoated in their families, constantly humiliated and made to feel unloved. The impact is devastating and can lead to life-long mental health problems and, in some cases, suicide,” said Sir Tony.
“We are one of the last countries in the Western world to recognise all forms of child abuse as a crime. Years of campaigning have been rewarded, the Government has listened and this law will change lives.”
A Ministry of Justice spokesman said: “The Government believes protecting children from harm is fundamental and that child cruelty is an abhorrent crime which should be punished.
“Every child should be able to grow up in a safe environment. We are considering ways the law can support this.”

The Cast-Parental Alienation Posts

Victim #1, Me: well that wasn’t too hard to get at, I’m real reachable on the web.  All my contact details are on LinkedIn, you can find them at: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/davidallen181054/.

Victim #2, my daughter Sydney: although all the proceedings are done, and she now lives in Dallas with the abuser, and she is no longer a child, and she has the full “Stockholm Syndrome” thing going, I won’t put it all out there until I have been sued at least once…

The Abuser: Meg Allen.  She has a LinkedIn profile as well, but it is an unparalleled work of autonomic fictionMeg Allen abuser.  This is the picture from her LinkedIn fiction, but I did notice that she has removed the MBA from her profile that she doesn’t have.  Great pic, alluring, great smile…  Well you can’t bag a sugar daddy if you don’t at least pretend to enjoy it can you???

# 1 Assistant Abuser: Michele Frost. Former employee of the Yank. She was spurned by chld abuser #1, michele frostthe Yank when she threw herself at him to have an affair with him.  Prolific pill taker, history of two mental breakdowns, destroyer of any male she comes in contact with.  Caused first husband Edward to have a nervous breakdown, shown considering her next victim…

# 2 Assistant Abuser: Nicola Bogle, AKA Nicki Bogle.  Prolific man hater, happy to assist in nicola bogle, abuser assistantany effort to destroy any man. Originally a co-worker of the chief abuser at the first software company the abuser worked for in the UK, master and black belt instructor in the art of “smile and screw”

And the Men? Stupid? The System?-Parental Alienation Posts

Well this is not a topic that needs to be explored very thoroughly.  Starting at the beginning, with Adam (as in Adam and Eve), men have been wrongly believing what women have told them for a very long time…  The stories in the Old Testament are pretty shocking, David & Bathsheba struts right to the front of the parade.  At least God didn’t give me one of 3 choices, one of which was the deaths of 60,000 of my countrymen…  I’ll never blame anyone else for the choices I’ve made, but I won’t be able to defend many of them either…

One of the fundamental topics, however is, why should the state allow perfectly innocent children to be serially emotionally abused by mothers who just use them as pawns to take down, often equally innocent men, and destroy them in the process; usually just for money…  Parental Alienation is a very well documented psychosis and problem.  Equally well documented are the results.  Severely emotionally abused children rarely make it past their 18th birthdays.  Why?  Because parental alienation is incredibly severe emotional abuse.  It destroys its victims.  It sucks the life out of them, it destroys all their self esteem, and they lose the will to live; all before age 18.  The abusers all have lots of other “sweet treats” to go with them, but at their hearts they are abusers, criminal abusers.  Most of them have been abused, and this abuse perpetuates itself as it does in all other forms of abuse.

Whilst I have probably devoured everything ever written about parental alienation, I could never talk to any of real people who were real victims, because the courts prohibit talking about anything having to do with children whilst the children are still children.  Has it helped any of them?  Not really, but it sure helps the abusers keep on abusing…  For every day of those 5 long years, I just wanted to talk to someone who had been there, someone who understood…  So what do I want to accomplish here?  Get it out in the open, deal with it, and fix it…

First, you need to get through your head the fact that there are some low lives out there that actually support child abuse.  A concept that seems shockingly impossible, so grow up they do…

In the coming months we will be exploring the components of the problem.  We will be naming names and shaming shames.  No doubt some of the players will read about themselves here and will try to take some actions against me,  To you, all of you, I say take your best shot.  I’ve already lost everything, there is nothing further you can take, so crack on…

What is it?-Parental Alienation Posts

The works of Edward Kruk, Ph.D define it most comprehensively:

What children of divorce most want and need is to maintain healthy and strong relationships with both of their parents, and to be shielded from their parents’ conflicts. Some parents, however, in an effort to bolster their parental identity, create an expectation that children choose sides. In more extreme situations, they foster the child’s rejection of the other parent. In the most extreme cases, children are manipulated by one parent to hate the other, despite children’s innate desire to love and be loved by both their parents.

Parental alienation involves the “programming” of a child by one parent to denigrate the other “targeted” parent, in an effort to undermine and interfere with the child’s relationship with that parent, and is often a sign of a parent’s inability to separate from the couple conflict and focus on the needs of the child. Such denigration results in the child’s emotional rejection of the targeted parent, and the loss of a capable and loving parent from the life of the child.

Psychiatrist Richard Gardner developed the concept of “parental alienation syndrome” 20 years ago, defining it as, “a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent.” Children’s views of the targeted parent are almost exclusively negative, to the point that the parent is demonized and seen as evil.

Parental alienation involves a set of strategies, including bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent), forcing the child to reject the other parent, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, forcing the child to choose between the parents by means of threats of withdrawal of affection, and belittling and limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent.

There is now scholarly consensus that severe alienation is abusive to children (Fidler and Bala, 2010), and it is a largely overlooked form of child abuse (Bernet et al, 2010), as child welfare and divorce practitioners are often unaware of or minimize its extent. As reported by adult children of divorce, the tactics of alienating parents are tantamount to extreme psychological maltreatment of children, including spurning, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting or exploiting, and denying emotional responsiveness (Baker, 2010). For the child, parental alienation is a serious mental condition, based on a false belief that the alienated parent is a dangerous and unworthy parent. The severe effects of parental alienation on children are well-documented; low self esteem and self-hatred, lack of trust, depression, and substance abuse and other forms of addiction are widespread, as children lose the capacity to give and accept love from a parent. Self-hatred is particularly disturbing among affected children, as children internalize the hatred targeted toward the alienated parent, are led to believe that the alienated parent did not love or want them, and experience severe guilt related to betraying the alienated parent. Their depression is rooted is feelings of being unloved by one of their parents, and from separation from that parent, while being denied the opportunity to mourn the loss of the parent, or to even talk about the parent. Alienated children typically have conflicted or distant relationships with the alienating parent also, and are at high risk of becoming alienated from their own children; Baker reports that fully half of the respondents in her study of adult children who had experienced alienation as children were alienated from their own children.

Teaching Children to Hate

Saw this great article this morning and had to re-post it.  My daughter Sydney’s mother Meg Allen has spent thousands of hours teaching Sydney to hate.  And where has it gotten her? No where…

Two common divorce scenarios: You thought your marriage was on solid ground, until you discovered your spouse’s affair. You file for divorce, and blame the end of your marriage on your spouse’s infidelity.

Or, you knew your relationship was fraught with tension, conflict, and unhappiness. But you were unprepared for your spouse to finally call it quits. For any number of reasons your spouse decides to divorce you. You are stunned. You do not want a divorce. And you think your spouse is wrong to break up the family.

In both cases, you lead your children to believe that the divorce is their other parent’s entire fault. You may be a mother who files for divorce (which is the case in more than two out of three divorces) who tells her children all the bad things that Daddy did to hurt you. You may be a father who did not want the divorce who encourages the children to feel sympathy with your hurt while blaming Mommy for uprooting the family. In many cases one parent tells the children that the other parent is leaving “us.” The children quickly get the idea that divorce means choosing sides.

Two problems are apparent to those with more distance from either scenario. First, probably you are being unrealistic to think that your marriage was solid. When a relationship fails, almost always both partners contribute to its demise. Having an affair is a poor way to deal with disappointments in the marriage. It introduces new levels of dishonesty and obstacles in the relationship. When it is discovered, an affair provokes searing levels of shame, hurt, and fury in your spouse. But it is equally true that an affair is not only the proximate cause of divorce, it is a symptom of an ailing marriage. Blaming the failure of the marriage entirely on your unfaithful spouse deprives you of the opportunity to learn how you can do better in your next relationship.

The same holds true when your spouse unilaterally decides to end the marriage for other reasons. The fact that your spouse reaches the difficult decision to bail out of the marriage before you do does not mean that your spouse is entirely to blame for the divorce. If you deny your own contributions to the relationship’s problems, you doom yourself to repeat your mistakes in your next relationship. This is one reason why remarriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages.

Exceptions to our two scenarios are situations where one parent truly is far more responsible for the relationship’s problems than the other parent. As difficult as divorce can be, it may be the best option for you and your children if your spouse is violent, abuses the children, frequently treats the family poorly while under the influence of alcohol or drugs, is convicted of serious crimes, or exhibits signs of chronic mental illness that become unmanageable at home and take a toll on the family’s well-being.

Children have the right to give and receive love from two parents.

In such cases, parents need to protect their children from harm at the hands of the other parent while helping the children understand why they need such protection. It does not help children to believe that they share the genes of a worthless parent who has no redeeming assets. In many cases, children benefit by thinking that a parent who falls short in the child-rearing department is more to be pitied than scorned.

Back to the parents in our two divorce scenarios, situations where we feel wronged by a partner but that do not involve violence or serious mistreatment of the children. The first error is to place all the blame on the partner and fail to acknowledge our own contributions to the problems. The second error is bringing the kids into the middle. Encouraging them to blame the other parent for the stresses set in motion by the separation. Drawing the children into an alliance with you against the other parent.

Divorce is difficult enough for children. Parents compound the problem when they poison their children’s relationship with the other parent. Feeling emotionally wounded or furious with your ex is understandable. Using your children to satisfy your desire to be seen as the better parent, or to exact revenge, is cruel. Do right by your kids and resist the temptation to trash or humiliate your ex. Find other ways to shore up your self-esteem and cope with your anger while honoring your responsibility to protect your children from unnecessary harm. Children have the right to give and receive love from two parents.