The Need to be Respected…

Another important marker of toxic organisations is the violation of every person’s need to be respected. Organisations today practice dis-respect at a frightening rate. And the moniker of excuse is usually: “they deserved it”… Does anyone deserve disrespect as a member of an organisation? Not ever, but many intensely insecure people confuse disagreement with disrespect. Many managers today only know how to answer back disagreement with disrespect. Because they neither value nor respect others, that is their only way to deal with conflict.  When it moves from dangerous to toxic is when they enlist others in the task.  The organisational abusers cannot cope with the truth so they put you on trial using the “thousand cut” method. Whereby they feign concern and drag you down by a thousand backhandedly negative comments behind your back.  The usual organisational tell-tale signs are phrases like:

  1. Did you hear what so-and-so said, was that stupid or what?
  2. What is wrong with him/her?
  3. Did you hear what they did? They are just trying to act superior to all of us…
  4. Oh, they always say that…

And when they feel ready to “go for the kill”, they put you on trial in your absence. They bring up an item at a meeting that wasn’t on the agenda, where you aren’t there, and ask all the members of the meeting what they think about this utter stupidity of whoever the target is today. They savage you on a very personal basis, and when confronted about it, they always throw it off on the decision of the group. Not me, it was the group that decided this…

Disrespect is something that you see all over. When a member of an organisation is given a public opportunity to ask a question of a leader of-and-with authority, you often see people making long-winded speeches about how important they are followed by some question designed to make them look like they know what they are doing. This is fundamental disrespect for both the fellow members of the audience and the person to whom the question is addressed. Anyone who engages in this sort of disrespect should be earmarked for removal from the organisation with immediate effect.

Fortunately, the people who live by disrespect always get found out, they always get put where they belong, eventually… However, in the interim you have to find a way to live with them. The best way forward with that:

  1. Stay as clear as possible of known disrespectors
  2. When you see it clearly confront them with the simple phrase: “I’m sorry but I will not accept your disrespect of me on:….”
  3. Whatever you do, don’t get in a debate with them, as they will try to convince you that their disrespect of you was both necessary and appropriate. Guess what, it never was and never will be…
  4. Lastly, remember, they lose a lot of sleep crafting their lies and disrespect, and you don’t…

Blessings all…

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