Hail To Our Co-Pilot Saviour

What an astonishing weekend?  We here in Surrey Heath are so blessed to have the saviour of the earth in our own backyard, in our little village of Lightwater (well actually Windelsham)…  It (Lightwater) was recently voted one of the top places to live in the UK, and one of the top places to live in all of Europe.  And somehow they managed to reach that distinction without the ruling presence of our Windelsham co-pilot saviour Richard Wilson; shocking really…  This guy has singlehandedly:
-saved the NHS tens of pennies by getting a clerk to change an NHS Surgery phone number
-rescued the Surrey libraries
-put and end to the vast overspending of those ugly Tory millionaires running the council
-fixed all the signs in Surrey
-fixed all the issues on the Red Road, one of the most dangerous roads in the UK
-shown how to really slag off the competition and every Tory standing in true Mitt Romney style, and then tried to make it sound like he’s not actually negative campaigning but just setting his amazing “record” straight…

Setting the record straight???  Exactly what record would that be your majesty?  You mean your record of swanning around the skies of Europe with nothing to do all day except watch computers take off and land the planes of the most highly government subsidised airline in the world.  Good story this morning in the Independent about the £10 Billion aviation fuel subsidy that he and his airline enjoy whilst the rest of us slug it out paying full price at the pumps and driving on roads that his party’s government did nothing about for 15 years…  Your majesty, will you be lowering the price of petrol for us too???  All new roads too???  How have we lived without you???

Clearly we need a new King in Lightwater, Surrey Heath Borough Council, Surrey County Council, Parliament, and Buckingham Palace.  We have just the man, and he can deport that pesky Yank as his first task…  After all, we can’t have all the that truth floating about, bad for the people…  And don’t worry Katia, he ‘s already acknowledged that 47% of the people won’t vote for him…

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