Monthly Archives: November 2012

And All The Women Said: Amen to That

So here it is, the fourth and final week of the “Mo”…  That annual Movember Madness where the men of the world are enabled to grow big bushy moustaches in the name of raising money for prostate and testicular cancer is drawing to a close.  But as with any indulgence where women are concerned, someday it has to end…  So, it looks like tomorrow is that day.  As there is no “Mocember”, we clearly have pushed it as far as it goes…  So, get yourselves onto www.movember.com and get those credit cards out, if you don’t, then you might cause us to go from a Movember to a Mocember…

And all the women of the world said: Amen to that…

Interesting Mobile Shopping Data from Black Friday in the USA

From the US last week:

Of the 24% of traffic made up by mobile devices, phones contributed 13% and tablets 11% (or 54% and 46% of mobile respectively). Of the phone traffic, iOS devices were about two thirds of traffic and Android one third. Of tablet traffic, iPad was 88%, Kindle and Nook were 5.5% Galaxy Tab was 1.8% and other tablets were 4.4%.

Overall, iOS was 77% generated mobile traffic and Android (excl. Kindle, Nook) was 23%.  Besides the pattern of significant mobile growth (from 5.2% to 24% of online in two years) there is the curious effect of iOS growth outpacing Android growth. Android went from 1.43% of Black Friday shopping traffic in 2010 to 4.92% in 2012. In same time iOS went from 3.85% to 18.46%. In other words, while Android is up by a factor of 3.4, iOS is up by a factor of 4.8.

You’re an Extremist

So, if you are reading this, you are an extremist…  Last week, Janet and I spent the week in the home country enjoying the sunshine and massive quantities of food wherever we went in the Midwest.  When I tried to regale you all with the tales of the Pumpkin Pie, I learned that I could not log in from the USA.  Not log in to WordPress from the land of the Free and Home of the Brave???  Turns all of what I remember about freedom of speech from the old days is gone…  Gone??? How can that be???

So, anyone can go to WordPress and tell them that some random blogger out there is an extremist, and they will take what you have to say on face value and brand you an extremist and you will have very limited logon capabilities.  So I learned:

  • if you want honesty in government, you are an extremist…
  • if you want dialogue on anything controversial, you are an extremist…
  • if you promote anything that requires political considerations, you are an extremist…
  • if you think that there is anything wrong with the government taking children away from adoptive parents because of the political party they belong to, you are an extremist…
  • if you think there is anything wrong with lunatic Americans coming here and telling us how we are going to screw up the Olympics, you are an extremist…
  • if you think that there is something wrong with government trying to stop the use of social media, you are an extremist…
  • if you criticise the conduct of your local Borough Council, you are an extremist…
  • if you subscribe to the conservative ideal, you are an extremist…

So is the solution is only dialoguing about the size of my moustache and our favourite recipes?  Let’s hope not…  So, if you go to the US and try to log into your local WordPress site and it doesn’t work, you’re an extremist…

So Who let the Alternative Vote Back In???

So, I must be confused, didn’t we just work hard to defeat the Alternative Vote??? So when I voted on Thursday, I received a ballot from the polling station people, yes the ones who were all parked on their iPods. To my astonishment, there were 6 candidates, and two columns on the ballot. The one who put her iPod down told me that I could make a first and second choice. When I said what??? She looked at me as if I were insane, and said that I had a first and second choice, and that I should make a second choice. When I told her I only wanted one choice she told me I had to choose 2 people. When she saw that I was a councillor she was even more irritated with me, as if to say I must be barking mad and must have been asleep during that meeting…

Well, those two things are entirely possible, but did anyone else miss the boat here? First of all, hardly anyone voted, just over 15%, and this was the first time we have had a multiple choice test. I prefer the essay tests, but this was well confusing. The polling station people were not sure what would happen if you only made one choice. So if I’m confused, what about everyone else??? Every single person I spoke to did not get what was going on…

In Surrey Heath, Julie Iles got the most votes, those votes called “first choice” votes. Forgive me, but I thought we campaigned for those being the only ones who mattered… Julie, don’t lay down on this, go after these deceptive idiots that made this happen.

Just in time for voting day…

So, we finally have a recognisable, touchable, kissable, certifiable moustache and now we don’t look like an albino whale with milk spilt on his upper lip…  And all this just in time for the vote for the Police Commissioner.  It would have been too scary to take out in public to a polling station had it not filled in properly.  Bad form as a councillor to scare the locals into heart failure.  Turns out that didn’t mater as when I went up to vote at about 2:30, there was not one person there, hope this isn’t a sign of the total turnout.  The only time I have been to vote anywhere where the 3 clerks were all so bored they all had iPods out, they couldn’t agree on the music. When they saw it was me they scrambled to put them away, afraid I met tell the marm.

There were 6 guys on the ballot, which is I think more than the total number of people who even voted in Frimley today.  You can just see the winner bragging “hey aren’t I great, I got 3 of the 5 votes cast…”  Of course this could bring in the new standard for voting: “how good is your moustache?”  You can just see Barak and Mitt up there comparing moustaches…  Elections around the world (at least the known world of the US and UK) are held in November.  And if you can only start the 6 weeks before, then that’s plenty of time, unless of course you’re a woman (with the exception of my Aunties).  Of course we could have an alternate competition for the women: leg-hair growing…  So, then it is about how good a moustache you can grow, not how good a speaker you are, or how good you are about slagging off the other guys…  And then we also raise a lot of money for the old geezers to keep their kit… Mahvelllousss…